Alternate title: “Mothering is HARD”
This is for all you mamas out there in the trenches of mothering littles:
A few days ago I had a pretty awesome realization while I was showering. Isn’t that always how it works? I seem to do my best thinking in the shower! I was retracing the morning’s events. My husband was away and the children and I hadn’t gone to church because the weather was a bit precarious and our street hadn’t been cleared yet, nor had our driveway been plowed.
After breakfast, I told the kids (ages 10, 7, and 5) I was going to shower and gave them some basic instructions to just “play,” but no electronics were to be used. Then I headed upstairs.
An hour and a half later when I finally got into the shower, it dawned on me that I hadn’t needed to redirect anyone, nor had I heard any bickering, and even though the kids were being quiet, I wasn’t fearful that they were into something they shouldn’t be!
So, why did it take me an hour and a half to get into the shower? I had cleaned up my room (we’re moving soon, so I have been purging), played some words in Words with Friends, chose my clothing for the day, and even deep cleaned my bathroom (except the shower which I always tackle while I’m in there showering).
I know you’re wondering, “Where’s she going with this?”
Mamas – I KNOW what you’re doing now is rough (and that’s probably the understatement of the century). It takes every single ounce of energy you have, every single day of your life, to be a mama. There are babies to nurse, toddlers to chase, and preschoolers who think they know everything. I know how challenging and utterly draining it can be, even without any added circumstances. I see that some of you also have the added challenges of a child who seems to NEVER.SLEEP. Or maybe it’s a child with a challenging medical or behavioral situation. Or any of the other individual challenging aspects of mothering. There are also all the many other facets to life outside of being a mother.
However, I also know how rewarding it is for those little people to call you “mama”, trust you, and rely on you (even when you don’t see it in the moment – or even in an entire year) and would not change a minute of every circumstance I faced during those years.
I get it. I’ve been there in the trenches right along side you. I have followed in the same trenches many mamas carved out before me and I won’t be the last to trowel out my own space in those trenches.
Here’s what I really want you to know. You are not alone and you will, in fact, make it through this season. You (and yes, your children too) will make it into the next season of life mostly unscathed, with the wisdom that comes from those years you spent on your knees in those trenches! That next season of life? Oh it will be fraught with more demanding circumstances, but they’ll be a different sort of experience.
Your babies will still need you, but they won’t need you in the same sense. They’ll be more self sufficient, needing less of the physically draining personal care. They’ll sleep normal hours (mostly), they won’t need you to read everything to them, get them snacks, or wipe their bottoms. But, mama, they’ll still need you.
They’ll need your heart. They’ll need your strong faith in God’s sustaining love and salvation. Your grounded, Biblical worldview. They’ll need you to be consistent in pursuing their heart and training them in love. And even your forgiveness – probably often.
If you’re still in those trenches, hang in there because this work that you’re doing is one of the most important things you will do in your life. You’ll emerge from that trench with more wisdom and love than you ever imagined. Let our savior wrap you in His arms and carry you through. I’m seeing those trenches from the other side and they don’t seem quite as deep as they did while I was traveling through them.
Side note: I have words. Lots of words to write to you. I’m just not sure I’m ready or able to make it a consistent thing yet/again. Those heart needs I spoke of above, they’re real and very present in my current season of mothering. I hope to be able to share more words with you soon.
Let me be the first to say that I am NOT a fan of shopping with my kids in tow. My brain has trouble processing coupons and deals with other things going on. It’s not fun for me, but being a military wife sometimes necessitates I take my kids along – otherwise while Michael is on deployments, we might not eat…
As they get older (they’re now 8, 6 and 4), it does get a little easier, but one of my favorite discoveries when the kids were a little younger (roughly 6, 4 & 2) was that they loved to have their own little drawing pads and pens to doddle on while in the store.
At times we’d get lucky and be at a store where the carts could accommodate all 3 kids. Notebooks work best if all of the kids can be seated – because drawing and walking at the same time is a bit difficult!
I simply tuck these things in my purse, or in the bag in which I’m carrying my coupon box:
~ 4×6 spiral bound notebook for each kid (I usually pick these up at the Dollar Tree or in the $1 bin at Target)
~ Pen or pencil for each child (keep it simple, don’t bring a lot of choices)
I would reserve the notebooks for a little while into the trip. The boys enjoyed helping me choose things from the shelves and place them in the cart for the first bit, then when they got antsy, I would sit them down and give them their drawing books.
I realize this won’t work for everyone and isn’t always practical, but sometimes mama just needs her brain back! They love it and it definitely works for me!
This post is linked to Works for Me Wednesday.
Homemade treats are some of my husband’s favorite comforts while he is deployed. He especially loves these Double Chocolate Cookies from The Farm Girl! They are moist, chocolaty and so very yummy! And they ship well!!
While he was deployed earlier this year, I sent him a couple of batches of them and all of the cookies arrived in good condition and still slightly moist and definitely edible!
I packaged a batch of them recently to send to a friend in his Christmas package, so I thought it was time I documented the packaging process.
It’s really quite simple and only requires a few extra items. I always use disposable containers with lids, but a holiday tin would likely work just as well.
For this package, I used a large rectangle container.
Start with a layer of plastic wrap cut long enough to have a few inches of excess on each side of the container.
Then you’ll need to cut several sheets of wax paper to the size of the container. I used a Sharpie to trace around the outside of the bottom of the container and then cut them slightly inside the line so the finished paper would be small enough to fit inside the container. Place one layer in the bottom of the container, on top of the plastic wrap.
On top of that layer of wax paper, place a single layer of cookies. Then repeat that two more times, for a total of 3 layers of wax paper and cookies, making sure to leave at least an inch of room above the top layer of cookies.
After the last layer of cookies, fold in the plastic wrap. Bring one side in and then fold the other over onto the first side.
After you have secured the plastic wrap and tucked the edges in around the layers of cookies, fold/layer in enough bubble wrap to completely fill the rest of the container.
Once you’ve done that, you’ll need one more layer of plastic wrap. This time, make sure it’s long enough to hang over on all 4 sides.
Place the lid on the container with the plastic wrap still exposed on the outside edges. This creates one final layer of resistance against air getting in and drying out the cookies. Then you can tuck the excess plastic under the outside edges of the container to make it look less messy.
Your cookies are now ready to add to the package you’re sending and get them posted as soon as possible.
If you’re sending any packages overseas this year, I believe you still have a day or two to get them in the mail for them to reach their destination by Christmas. During Michael’s last two deployments, some packages made it to him in as little seven days, while the longest only took 14 days. However, Michael was working in an office environment where they received mail each day. I have no idea what kind of time frame you should expect if your intended recipient is working in a field environment. That being said, packages are still appreciated, even if they don’t arrive in time for Christmas. It’s your heart and intent that will bring them the most joy!
Welcome visitors from the Military Spouse Appreciation Bloghop! I’m happy to have you! If you’re not familiar with this bloghop, it is for Military Spouses and takes place on Military Spouse Appreciation Day (today!) hosted by Riding the Roller Coaster and Household 6 Diva. However, you don’t have to be a military spouse to show your support! If you’d like to participate, just go write yourself an intro post, sign the Linky, then join the fun by surfing some lovely new blogs! Also be sure to post a button in your sidebar to be eligible for one of the wonderful sponsored giveaway items!
I’m Laura and I’m wife to Michael. Michael is a Master Sergeant in the Air Force. I have been married to Michael for his entire 12 year military career which began in 2000. Our journey started before 9/11 and before the recent war situation. These last 12 years have definitely been an ever changing, exciting and sometimes lonely experience. We are currently enduring a deployment that will bring him home in the early part of this summer. I have never been more proud of someone as I am of Michael’s accomplishments!
I’m joining in this bloghop because I feel that community is incredibly important and valuable, especially in the life of a military spouse. I want to say THANK YOU to those of you on this very important and like-no-other journey of being a military spouse. You (yes YOU) are valued and appreciated!
Michael and I have three amazing children. They are Jacob (8), Eli (turning 6 in 2 weeks) and Rachael (3). We were married in 2000, just 11 short days before he left for BMT. We’ve survived several deployments and we’re on our 4th duty station (we are currently at Wright-Patterson AFB in Dayton, Ohio). I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom and count it a blessing every day to be able to spend these precious years with our children. Here on the blog, you’ll find me posting about military life, homeschooling, homemaking, cooking, baking, parenting, natural living, real food eating and living out our faith and belief that our lives should be God directed and Christ centered.
During our last deployment, I wrote a series on Preparing for Deployment, if you’re in that season of military life, I encourage you to have a look at it.
I hope you’ll visit more of the lovely spouses who have joined the bloghop and leave them some love in their comments.
You are welcome to subscribe to my blog for email or RSS updates. I am also on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram (user @LauraVenning).
I had lofty goals for this deployment. Things I wanted to do with this blog (ie – reviving it!) and available opportunities that I wanted to get involved in, but to say that my life has taken a different route would be an understatement. I’ve hardly posted anything here since Michael left and it doesn’t really seem like that’s going to change anytime soon.
For a variety of reasons, this deployment has been the most difficult of the ones we’ve endured. Please understand that I’m not really complaining – this is the life we’ve chosen and I’m well aware of and happy with that. God has this in His control and for that security, I’m incredibly grateful.
I wish I had adequate words to convey to you what’s going on in my head, how I’m feeling and what’s causing it, but I just don’t. In part, because I’m not completely clear on the whole ordeal, but I’m otherwise simply unable to convey my thoughts (or collect them, if I’m honest).
I love my children dearly and am incredibly blessed to not only be able to stay home with them, but also educate them at home and I really don’t want this to be taken then wrong way, but it’s HARD work to be the sole person with your kids (and them with you) 98-ish% percent of the time. Yes, I have baby sitters and friends who help out (and it is such a wonderful blessing!), but there’s truly nothing like the Godly example of a dad who loves to be with his children and who also loves to be a blessing to his wife and help her out daily.
Don’t mistake this comment, I am not, in any way, saying that I miss my husband based solely upon how much help he is when he is home. That is not even remotely true, because there are a million other reasons, but I do, in fact, miss the help.
Dear readers, would you please keep me in your prayers? It would be immensely appreciated.
Also, please pardon the dust that might continue to settle on this blog as I continue in this deployment journey. I am still around on Facebook, Twitter and now on Instagram (I’m LauraVenning), sharing small snippets of life along the way – feel free to follow me on one of those platforms!
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Crustless Buttermilk Pie