I have a confession: I’m struggling with this parenting gig.
Most of the time Eli (almost 6) has on a very tough exterior that’s incredibly heard to break into. On the outside he’s rough and tumble, strong willed and at times, wildly unpredictable. So far, parenting him has been one of the biggest challenges I’ve faced in life.
I’m pleased to say he’s come a long way in the last two years, but honestly, there are still times when I really just don’t know how I’m going to make it another minute with him.
I fail countless times each day at living a Christ-like example, because I allow him to frustrate me, in turn, I’m not teaching him how to love unconditionally or extend grace to others. The fear of failing to instill in him the immense importance of his need for a Savior is a huge guilt.
I see myself in him, in how he reacts, in how he treats his siblings and I’m ashamed. Ashamed because I’m failing someone I love SO much.
I pray so often that God will lead us both to the other side of this unscathed.
I am learning (and repenting and asking for forgiveness a lot) and so is he, it’s just so much slower than I’d like.
I wonder how many times God looks at us and says something like that “why can’t she just get ____ already?” You know it’s like that, right? He holds our hand; picks us up; dusts us off; disciplines us, if necessary; and then encourages us to do better. In so many ways, in our walk with Christ, we are truly like young children who have to learn the same lesson eleventy bajillion times before it finally clicks.
Do you need some encouragement? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to add you to my prayer list.